Ask Better Questions

Ever ask yourself questions like:

• “What’s wrong with me?” 

• “Why can’t I be happy?

• “How could anyone love me?” 

• “Why can’t I… [lose weight, get the promotion, find a good relationship…]?

All of these questions are built around negative beliefs and lead to some pretty depressing and self-defeating answers. When we ask ourselves questions like these, we’re essentially inviting negative self-talk out on a date. Then we feel down on top of not having a helpful way forward.

Alternatively, magic happens when you ask yourself better questions, such as:

• How can I make my future more exciting?

• How could I bring more happiness into my life?

• How can I get my work done and have fun in my life?

• What’s something I can do to bring more value to my customers / employer?

• What is a way I can care for myself today?

• What’s something I could do to connect with someone?

• How can I manage my emotions without… [over-eating, over-drinking, binging on Netflix or social media…]?

When you ask yourself high-quality, empowering, open, and genuinely curious questions, your brain gets to work to come up with creative and interesting ideas that are bound to get you closer to your goal.

Action Steps:

1. Ask yourself better questions. Replace questions that incorporate negative beliefs with curious, open-ended questions.

2. Resist the urge to answer questions with “I don’t know.”  If that’s where your brain goes, try asking yourself, “I hear you don’t know, but pretend that you did,” and see what comes up. 

In coaching, questions are the tools we use to change our lives.  When you ask yourself better questions, you just might surprise yourself with what you come up with.