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Step One: Knowing What You Value

Life is full of decisions big and small. Each choice we make shapes our path and influences our happiness. But how do we ensure that our decisions create a life we love?  The answer lies in identifying what we most value.

The Importance of Being Honest with Ourselves

Your goal throughout these exercises is unabashed honesty.  The goal is to experience cognitive congruence – when what you think and believe align with your words and actions.  It benefits no one to choose ideals that don’t genuinely resonate with you.  So let me give you a permission slip that says no value is better or worse than any other.  The whole point is to figure out as best you can what feels real to you to you right now and not what society, culture, your family, friends, or religion say you should value.  Remember, you don’t have to share your responses with anyone, and further, you don’t even need to act on them.  All you have to do right now is tell yourself the truth. Changes will begin organically in a slow and natural process.

What Are Core Values?

• Core values represent the personal ethics or ideals that bring meaning to your life.

• They serve as your inner compass, your internal GPS. 

Why It’s Helpful to Know Your Core Values

• Experience more ease and alignment with minor to major decisions

• Unlock a powerful sense of purpose and direction

• Develop and achieve personal and professional goals

• Increase self-esteem

• Shield yourself against imposter syndrome

• Learn to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively

Things to Remember Before the Exercises

• Values Change Over Time!  This is normal, natural, expected, and appropriate.

• Approach this with curiosity, playfulness, and an open mind.  See what comes up!  Your only job here is to be honest with yourself.  Remember, we’re looking for congruence, not the “right” answer.

• If you get stuck on a question, skip over it.  Come back later or pass on it altogether; not all questions will resonate with you.  Don’t overthink it. Done is better than perfect here, and some questions will resonate with you more than others. 

• Expect the unexpected.  It is incredibly common for things we’ve never considered to be our values show up on our lists, and just as common for things we’ve always considered to be core values not to show up.  It might mean that certain values are represented under the umbrella of a different core value or perhaps that something we’ve held close to us in the past isn’t what feels most authentic to us in this season.  Not seeing “desired” values on your list means nothing negative about you. 

• Be patient with yourself.  All we’re doing here is step one:  figuring out what’s important to you now.